I will not be in the big city, I will be in a small town, preferably by the ocean, where I can take walks and sit and listen to the waves, and throw rocks into the sea, and find seashells to take home and keep as souvenirs of each day, and draw pictures of all the people who pass by. I will have a three-bedroom house with a wooden staircase, with one room for guests, one room for me, and the other bedroom will be a study in which I can create anything I want. Painting and pottery and needlework and illustration, all traditional, of course. It will have a basement too, converted into a small music room with all kinds of instruments, like dulcimers and guitars and banjos and sitars (can you tell I'm fond of string instruments?), and a small upright honky-tonk piano like the sorts you find in saloons. There will be a big sofa in this room too, and a refrigerator to keep cold, non-alcoholic drinks in.
The living room of this house will be filled with old, sturdy furniture that is not made of wood shavings, nor will it break easily, and it will last for a very long time. I will have a big wooden television unit with a big solid TV, thick enough for a cat to sleep on top of, and lots of DVDs of films and shows that I like, and a couple of videogame consoles. There'll be two large bookshelves full of books, and a CD shelf and a stereo system to play music with.
I will have a job. A physical one, where I work with my hands. Never to be confined within a cubicle, never to be stuck behind a desk, staring at a screen until my eyes go square. To commute, I shall have a scooter, like the ones that Mods have, with many a light on the front. I will learn a trade and become skilled in it, and make a decent living for myself. Is this too much to ask for? I hope not. Maybe tattooing could be a solid profession for me...
I will have a woman, and she will have me. I will not feel afraid or insecure around her. I will not worry about how I look, about my jaw or nose or lip or anything of the sort. I hope I can find that connection someday. It is not something I yearn deeply for, but it would be nice to see it happen in the future. We shall have a pet cat, a beautiful cat with softest fur and empty, silly eyes. We shall name it something ridiculous, and we will love it. Even if I have no woman, I shall still adopt a cat, and it will be a most wonderful friendship.
A garden. My own garden, not too big, where I can grow the flowers and plants I long to grow, but never able to do so in this big city. Herbs, mulberry trees, vegetables, gardenias, peonies, and roses, so many roses. Roses of white and red and pink, orange, yellow, mauve. I shall smell their sweet perfumes every morning in spring. A red pine tree, tall and proud, in the centre of the garden. My heritage for the world to see. A little pond, where frogs will gather in the late spring when it is raining. Snails all around. There will be so much cabbage for them to eat.
I don't want fancy cars or opulent mansions. I don't wish for designer gowns, nor diamonds or sapphires or rubies or anything of that sort. But I hope that the life I so long to have is still achievable in this day and age. I really, really hope it is.
Sumi's Site...2022 - The end of the world